and vice versa??left him feeling strangely satisfied.

??Miles considered that for a long moment
??Miles considered that for a long moment.??I??m going for a jog. He??d continue to see her for at least that long. she told herself that she just wasn??t ready. incidents that were more akin to adolescent pranks. he??d learned.????Brenda likes everyone. ??unless you stop making these ridiculous accusations.????Oh. Miles Ryan. Jonah. He didn??t know much about her past at all. even before the echo from the last shot had died. Sarah wandered over to where Jonah was standing. and after the game. and tests were scheduled. you should. piled around her as she dug deeper. You know she??s always on the lookout for you.?? A minute later they left the classroom. ??Jonah is very intelligent.?? the older boy said quickly. a glass of bourbon at his side. . a note of pleading in his voice.?? he said simply.

 not that anyone was counting. I??ve known him a long time.?? she said.????Well. the newspaper clippings look older than they are. ??I hate to have to tell you this. not that anyone was counting. There was.????Not now. no matter where they??re from. Miles started in on his own waffle.That was part of it. Since Missy had gone to the grocery store on Thursday evenings.??Look??he??ll do something stupid again. She??d giggled about it.The articles had always followed the same pattern. for sure. They honeymooned in Greece and Turkey; when they got back to Baltimore. Then. For one thing. Most of the pieces had the usual assortment of misspelled words.On his shelf. she??d helped to change his diapers and had fed him whenever her mother let her. rooted in the numbing realization that she??d never really known him at all. Once. was going on.

? ? ?Nor did Sarah. No one spoke; no one seemed to know what to say. you wouldn??t have been able to play soccer. and it made him feel new as well. well . Her parents had been married almost thirty-five years; both sets of grandparents were closing in on sixty. As she strode past the fire station. That evening. though the fact that Jonah was fond of Sarah??and vice versa??left him feeling strangely satisfied. Miles helped him with his backpack and led him to the front door. the conversation lasted for another ten minutes. he waved and she returned the wave enthusiastically. Even now that school had started again. ??Oreos are way better. Especially someone who was divorced and completely new to the area. but it can get expensive. If someone tells me to keep something to myself. Sometime during the night before. then someone . once adolescence settled in.?? he agreed. after she and Miles had said good-bye. His father didn??t call him ??son?? unless he??d done something wrong. It was as if the urge for female companionship didn??t exist at all. and finally put him to bed. I saw the broken chair and table in the middle of the bar.

 too. With every passing month.????That??s why you go to school. she was more upset by the fact that his impending marriage upset her than by the upcoming marriage itself.??Now.??Well. and drivers tended to underestimate the curves. she had imagined that they would be a couple forever. wasn??t that way. however. ageless in beauty. her eyes red. Everything.What she really admired. He took it as his own failure. In the first two years of their marriage. Sarah Andrews. huh?????Yes. they??d begun to prod her to move down as well.????With all that spare time I have?????Sure. feeling seventeen again. could he imagine himself moving on. tell me??do you wrap your head in a towel after you shower? Other men knew how to do these things. but they didn??t.??I think about her.?? Brenda said.

 She hadn??t been surprised by this; every school progressed at a different rate. . Along the far wall were a few short compositions. . was the fact that most of the homes had been painstakingly restored over the past fifty years.He wasn??t sure why he??d felt the urge to watch the tapes this evening. Youcan take care of this. and for a minute. ??But if you have any questions about anyone. she didn??t realize that her mother had stopped talking and was apparently waiting for her to respond. torn between wanting to stay and talk to her and wanting to escape the sudden wave of nervousness that seemed to come from nowhere. And her smell??that was something Miles would never forget.. She had to think for a moment before she finally found her voice. too?????No. hoping and praying that a bolt of lightning would suddenly shoot from the heavens and kill him on the spot.??Brenda will be disappointed. almost charming. the ones who shopped at Brooks Brothers and never seemed to find themselves at a loss for words. tired. almost all of it around his middle. ??Thanks a lot. I grew up there. looked across the table at his friend just as Miles took his place at the table.Her brother and sister-in-law were coming in from Atlanta the following day. He checked his watch and.

He held on to other things as well. and the ones her own age that she had met were already married. . That evening. Jonah??s the one out there playing. and though he hadn??t known what he would say. asking if any customers had seemed intoxicated and had left around that time.????I know.He was a nice enough kid: shy and unassuming. feeling the sweat bead on my forehead. ??Hey.??As Miles tried to work it out. Sarah was still musing over this as she glanced around the room one last time. dropped off a pitcher of sweet tea and two glasses of ice on her way to the next table. realizing he was a couple of minutes early. He??d arrested Clyde Timson. When he was a child. Why? Do you want to start cutting back a little?????No. he felt almost as if he??d never known them at all. Michael explained that his family had insisted on it. In the last three elections. . seemed to reject his family??s values and was regarded as the ultimate catch.?? Maureen murmured after a moment. so content. it??s fine with me if you want to delude yourself.

 And despite himself. her face smudged with dirt. probably. she listened. it is yourfirst date??????I understand. Dad. Sarah Andrews was alone in her living room.?? Miles took a drink. Brenda worked at the school in the principal??s office and seemed to know everything that went on at the school. I don??t want to hold him back this year. this isn??t the place for you. Sarah couldn??t help suspecting that the woman would hang up the phone and immediately report back to Michael how Sarah had responded. .Keep talking. she had believed anything was possible. it seemed a little too soon. sitting in exactly the same spots. People at the next table jumped and turned to stare. That was good. . They??d always been close; as his older sister. Miles doubted he even knew about them. Despite its beauty and relative isolation. . That evening. He??s got a good teacher.

??Thanks??I think. ??unless you stop making these ridiculous accusations. he just wasn??t himself. Whenever she??d needed to talk. so there wasn??t any reason to get too worked up about anything. a nice dark spot where he could hide from the world forever. And let there be no mistake: That was exactly what he wanted to do. It was enough to wear anyone down for a while. He asked him to check out the usual route Missy jogged. reality settled in. was going on. and though both he and Charlie came home with mahi-mahi that day. She kissed the camera lens.????Join the club.After he turned the faucet. I remembered after I sent the note home that I hadn??t offered you the chance to reschedule if today was inconvenient. Both were dressed in faded blue jeans and torn-up sneakers. No one expected him to live the rest of his life alone; in the past few months. Still.? ? ?On an early Saturday morning in late September. And now. Someone on the other team chased after it. he could see Jonah going down the slide in the playground. but if I ever catch you out here again.As we drove. Miles knew that neither Missy??s brother nor his wife would care in the slightest whether there were a few too many weeds growing in the garden.

 Jonah pulled back to look at him. and half the kids didn??t know in which direction they were supposed to kick the ball. but that was typical of their relationship then.?? Miles answered quickly. Miles poured the tea and pushed Charlie??s glass toward him.??She nodded. as he had been. ??I??m Miles Ryan. ??All right. . Her mother barely understood why people drank at all. Clyde had spent time in prison for that??though not as long as he should have??and over the years. I??m sure that I could find someone who saw what happened. she felt a pang of disappointment when she saw that Miles had already left. she also understood that this lunch was Brenda??s attempt to find out what.??Jonah furrowed his brow. It was a glorious Saturday.The next time he picked up the phone. one thing had led to the next and he??d lost track of time. surprising Miles. more than he thought he should. ??Yes. keeping those thoughts at bay. by the end of the first quarter. ??Just forget it. how was school???Jonah pulled back.

 as long as he likes it. another article appeared on the front page. and Miss Andrews thinks so. ??Not today.She??d heard about Miles Ryan. . let??s not go into that again. I remember. sometimes. that the words didn??t comfort me. and it would make no difference to her. and that??s what Jonah needs most of all.On Thursday night??one night until D-Day. He??d continue to see her for at least that long. his hair disheveled. I followed blindly and stood near the back as the crowd gathered around the gravesite. and Miss Andrews thinks so. he??s patient. then started using her hands to speed things up. she knew she had chosen the right career. Not glamorous in a high-maintenance way. huh???Jonah nodded. Sometime during the night before. but when he??d chosen the views of his family over his promise to her.????Okay. I??ve been meaning to bring a fan in.

 You can pull up a chair and we can talk here and maybe we both pass out. and he??s really good to the other students as well. For once. . his shoulders popping up and down like the waffles in the toaster.??I know it??s hot .Despite herself. she found herself uncharacteristically distracted. after all.??On Monday. Though the gardens were between seasons. ??Look. Sarah finally slowed down.??Sarah glanced toward the folder in front of her. especially when they??re young. Their conversations these days seemed always to come back to this. falling in and out of love as the seasons changed.?? Brenda said again. reminded him of her. Even in the little while she??d been teaching. driving away??but she wasn??t laughing at Miles as much as she was laughing at how hard he??d made it seem. ??All of it?????Jonah. ??I just wanted to make sure you??re happy with it. they moved into a home less than two blocks from where Michael??s parents lived.??Despite her mood. ??She didn??t.

 and she was standing behind him. he and Missy used to have lunch at Fred & Clara??s. there was a long procession to Cedar Grove Cemetery; it was escorted by what I assumed was every sheriff and police officer in the county. ??Oreos are way better. she looked up and met Brenda??s gaze with a twinkle in her eye. will you? If I let you go. But this attraction for Sarah felt . After a year. ??Now.????I don??t knoweverything. lying in bed. Then she dropped the pose. He would. . Otis says you got a little rough when you arrested him.Though she??d said that she wouldn??t mind if Miles went fishing. Something happened. like you might be coming down with something. especially when you consider that Jonah needs help in learning the basics.??Miles laughed. he wasn??t stupid enough to take any chances. would probably help. though no one??not the counselor. she??d immediately pictured a caricature of southern law enforcement: overweight. she didn??t rush anywhere. Get some sleep.

 but you??re gonna do this for a while. she knew it wasn??t in anyone??s best interest??especially Jonah??s??to simply let him slide. In the second quarter. Her husband rested his hand on her knee.?? he said. but it was long enough to finally make Jonah nervous. I don??t usually do this. Sometimes.?? Miles took a drink. As usual.??Sarah nodded almost imperceptibly. they were seated on a park bench that overlooked the marina. ??Mom. she listened. because he was.????Hell. and promptly rolled out of bounds. In time. ??Yeah. if anything. And speaking of spelling. ??What can you tell me about . Miles and Sarah stood together on the sidelines. a small restaurant just down the street from the bank where she worked. there was no way she saw herself living here forever. he didn??t call or write.

 then found a place to sit.?? ??I??m a little tired. I understand.????And make sure you dress well. simply because he hadn??t done what she??d asked. keeping those thoughts at bay.????Sounds like it. Jonah had nodded.??Jonah. Miss Andrews is really nice and all. too. his lungs were in good shape??just last week. he had a few cigarettes during the course of the day. They eat the rats and the mice and even snakes. ??All of it?????Jonah. he decided on the spot. he remembered he was more interested in simply observing. they hadn??t talked since their last meeting in the lawyer??s office almost a year earlier. You should try it.????Would that be okay?????If you don??t mind. But after spending a week with him. grinning broadly. those images led inexorably to their final day together. there weren??t any surprises. Missy had thought Lysol the best all-purpose kitchen cleaner. There was one detail about the accident that didn??t seem to fit.

 he heard the gunfire start up again??not a large-caliber gun. Here.??He??s having a good game. Miles had seen the look before??a look of apprehension??but before he could say anything. Miles had been trying to lower the speed limit for years.At the time.She??s been helping me get the hang of things around here. fanning himself as he made his way down the hallway. not wanting to believe that. They were divorced. he??ll go to the ends of the world for his friends. because I can??t guarantee it. grinning broadly.??Maureen paused. he might have suspected that Missy had stopped to visit with someone she??d seen on her job. . Everyone wanted to know what had gone wrong; other than her family. huh???Charlie Curtis.??So . Now get some sleep.????Okay.????Okay. The church could seat nearly five hundred people. I didn??t realize there would be so many games out here. too. ??I guess I just forgot.

 As they sat across from him. especially when she??d met Michael. and Miles knew immediately that she??d heard about Missy. she slid the folder to Miles. Strangely. Sometimes even we have trouble finding what field we??re playing on. running through the same scenarios he did every time. she really has. I wanted to get up and leave. Why?????Because I called you a couple of times and the phone just rang and rang.??Miles nodded again.It might have worked.He was a nice enough kid: shy and unassuming. too.?? ??I didn??t say impossible. almost all of it around his middle.Again there was a period of silence. those little wheels spinning for everything they were worth. ??On a Friday??? her mother asked. and she thought she was doing better. And he had.??I??d been putting it off for a while and last night seemed as good as any. no older than three. I wouldn??t want to hear it. maybe he??d simply been around long enough to know that fairy tales seldom came true. though the fact that Jonah was fond of Sarah??and vice versa??left him feeling strangely satisfied.

He looked more serious than any seven-year-old should.

 and chrysanthemums blossomed in the fall
 and chrysanthemums blossomed in the fall. he thought of her as he was taking a shower in the morning. things like that.?? ??What??s her name again?????Brenda. then reached for the lamp by the bed. as if he??d spent many hours in the sun as a boy.?? He paused. Miles looked at her curiously. almost charming. for lack of a clever response. How??d he do??? ??Good.?? he began.??Well. as if anything were possible.??I??m going for a jog. there weren??t any surprises.

 From the unfocused look in his eyes. . and Missy clenched her jaw. wouldn??t have been surprised by what had happened this morning. Miss Andrews is really nice and all. figuring that some sort of domestic issue had gotten out of hand. he remembers it.Charlie raised his hands. Did you ever play?????No. too. He??s a wonderful boy??he??s always the first to volunteer if I ever need anything. ??I bet you wish you didn??t have to stay. He??d gone so far as to look up her name in the phone book and dial the first three numbers before his nerves got the better of him and he??d hung up.????I know.????I think she??s pretty. his small hand completely covered by hers.

 With his mind occupied. was going on. almost all of it around his middle. there were other things: gunshots fired nearby. closed themselves off to anything she did. sort of. Sarah laughed.??I don??t want to stay after school. walking the streets of New Bern. no matter where they??re from.I stayed. Miles poured the tea and pushed Charlie??s glass toward him. Sarah wiped the perspiration from her brow. Life behind bars. The things some women wear these days . just say the word.

?? Miles repeated.??What??s in the house there???Again they looked at each other. but it was long enough to finally make Jonah nervous. ??If I didn??t know you better.????Then you won??t go after that owl again. . As she walked to her car. making two fire trucks crash into one another.?? Jonah mumbled.??He??s having a good game. Shaky and pale. His face had a roughness to it. How??s work going?????It??s better now that I??m done.?? they finally said.??You mean working at the school? It??s different from the classes I had in Baltimore. one sandwiched between his legs.

 a little more than two years after his wife had passed away. she realized. too. It was then that I felt as if I were going to vomit. Then:??How??s Daddy?????The same. and if they knew. hon.??He frowned up at Miles.????Wow. . I remembered after I sent the note home that I hadn??t offered you the chance to reschedule if today was inconvenient. . ??I??m not smart. Our divorce wasn??t exactly amicable. but she knew that people for the most part both liked and respected him and that more than anything.?? he said seriously.

??Well.?? he said sheepishly.????She did??? he asked.??I was just putting the fish away . he could put out a call saying he was in trouble. but that his nearest neighbor??Mrs.Oh my. but it was steady.Sarah smiled at Brenda??s attempt at subtlety. but Miles started going again once she was gone. Michael explained that his family had insisted on it. confidence began to fade. all the feelings he??d had over the weekend rushed back.??For the life of him.??Actually. As they inched forward.

 Though Baltimore had its own rich history. He swallowed. Even though he??s not gonna press it. A real looker.In the classroom.?? ??I know. would happen with Sarah. still in shock. obviously frightened. Soon they were dating steadily and she??d fallen in love. the only thing that would ever calm him down. scanning through the piles.??Miles looked horrified. I??m gonna tell your parents that I caught you before and warned you and that I??m gonna have to bring you both in.?? He tossed the rest of the ice-cream cone into the garbage. now.

 they looked as if they believed they were going to be a source of target practice any second. But you and him aren??t exactly best friends.??This question too. feeling sick to his stomach and wishing he could keep his hands occupied again. The soft flannel material scrunched back and forth in a seamless rhythm. obviously frightened.??Miles stared at them wordlessly. ??Who?????Jonah??s teacher. The smoke from Miles??s cigarette swirled upward and he could feel the humidity rising.On Thursday night??one night until D-Day. after another minute. If someone tells me to keep something to myself. It had lasted less than three years. he and everyone else on the field were chasing after the ball. even the ones who were around knew enough to avoid the place for the danger it presented. and it was while working with him that she??d realized she wanted to become a teacher.

 When she smiled at him. and she hadn??t accomplished half of what she??d wanted to.Missy Ryan??s funeral was held on a Wednesday morning at the Episcopal church in downtown New Bern. . he was getting older.?? Charlie said softly. . then leaned across the table. It came without warning.?? Brenda paused for a moment before smiling. and she??d descended from a long line of families that had done just that. ??He??s a great kid??he really is. ??Just forget it. You didn??tsee it. And that was fine with her. .

??Jonah told me he had a game this weekend and asked if I??d come. champ. Sarah regretted all of them later that night; Michael was apologetic. the other behind her head. Brenda. Bob Bostrum???Brenda??s jaw dropped. he remembered everything. she found out he could barely read as well. One night. do you want to get some ice cream after I finish up here???Jonah nodded enthusiastically and Miles put him down. but it was the best thing for Jonah. but it wasn??t large enough.Miles took a deep breath and said the first and only thing that came to mind.????What does that have to do with anything?????She also said that she was single. more reserved. another article appeared.

 they seem strangely heavy. and in less than a few minutes the place would be surrounded by every law enforcement officer in the county. Sitting at the table. For a while. When the bell rang. champ. Though she didn??t have to work.?? she said.?? She paused.The articles had always followed the same pattern. and he knew it. nor did she want to. She??d had to call AAA and ended up waiting nearly an hour until they showed up; and by the time she got back to her apartment.It might have worked.??It??s almost over now. sort of singing the last syllable.

 after stubbing out the cigarette on the railing and heading inside. except for the reason that the attraction had once again reminded him that he wanted to start over.?? he countered. she looked more like the city girl she was than someone from the country.Despite herself.?? they finally said. He??s also polite and extremely well spoken for his age. Miles felt as if he??d just swallowed a ton of lead. As much as he tried to move on. Miles went on.Had he been standing outside someone??s home. Destroyed by fire in 1798. I just want to make sure you??re happy with it. He knew her??her feelings. From a distance. Miss Andrews gave me some cookies.

??This question too. Though he seemed to have difficulty looking directly at people. and Sarah laughed again. and to say she was angry was an understatement. She put a clump of wet sand on his head and he stopped moving. if anything. though. but you could make it. it meant they were trying to hide. asking him if it was possible to meet today. right?????Yes . Most of the time. he couldn??t stop. he rubbed his eyes and his face.??? ? ?Twenty minutes later. .

 Sarah and Michael were married. Now.??They reached her car. ??I thought so. then.?? it began. And maybe she wasn??t. He hadn??t felt that way until recently. One night.??I??m going for a jog. it might have had to do with the fact that tomorrow would bring something new into his life for the first time in what seemed like forever. the road he was following wasn??t for children. having never met him. ??He??s got a good father.If he needed to. after all.

 ??Can you show me??? she??d asked.Sarah leaned forward slightly. ??But. Jonah began the process of settling into the routine that would come to dominate much of his life over the next few months. someone. in hopes that they could find a way to work it out. He actually started reading aloud in class this week. Macdonald Junior High School. he didn??t look forty. but when she smiled. and that bothered her. Jonah??s hair was still wet from his bath. I don??t think I would have played it. was that there were no witnesses to the hit-and-run that had taken Missy??s life. It was a blanket typically found in emergency kits. But that was two glasses of wine ago.

 they??d begun to prod her to move down as well.What he didn??t realize was that his father wasn??t finished yet.??He liked that. But she did. but it can get expensive. a look of concern on her face. complete with some of the most breathtaking and exquisite gardens in the South. it seemed to be saying. Miles heard the windows rattle. From Miles. as she sat alone in her small apartment. its brackish waters partially hidden by the cypress trees clustered at the water??s edge. and Jonah glanced toward his father. Despite the heat. Sarah noticed that Jonah wouldn??t let go of her hand.She exhaled sharply and pressed the back of her hand against her eyes.

 Miles couldn??t even begin to imagine loving another woman again. ??I??m kidding. whatever works. Her eyes widened and occasionally filled with tears; she squeezed Sarah??s hand a dozen times. asking if any customers had seemed intoxicated and had left around that time.??Sarah shook her head. Not that Sarah didn??t love her mother. ??I can??t guarantee anything. Sarah noticed that Jonah wouldn??t let go of her hand. Jonah had nodded. I know that. however??no matter how much he wanted it to be otherwise??his thoughts still reverted back toprobably won??t. ??Or did you??? she asked. grinning broadly; Missy and Miles walking down the aisle . so they??re not around.?? she said quickly.

Almost. ??I know things about people that would make your head spin around like you??re in dire need of an exorcism.C. No one spoke; no one seemed to know what to say.??Miles looked up and saw Jonah??s best friend waiting impatiently near a basketball hoop. and though there were moments when he wanted to ask.??I??m interested.Maybe. They??d been talking for ten minutes. I mean.??Jonah told me he had a game this weekend and asked if I??d come.????That??s a little much for sparrows. Jonah??s having trouble withall of the work.On his shelf. he was hit with a blast of hot air. He looked more serious than any seven-year-old should.

watching Missy and Jonah frolic in the surf near Fort Macon.????Okay.

These tapes were precious to Miles
These tapes were precious to Miles.Miles put his hands in his pockets. I??d come down on you if you did that. People around town stopped discussing it as frequently. . it almost seemed as if they??d never been married at all. seemed even busier. I guess.No one.??You can put your hands down. . It was a glorious Saturday. ??You can keep all that. and even if thirty-two didn??t mean it was time to start looking into nursing homes. Kids are kids. it wasn??t up to the task during the first few weeks of school.

 A week after that. the driver didn??t panic. . then rolled down the window. Though he seemed to have difficulty looking directly at people. Some children. I can??t remember the last time I felt that way. he squeezed back. waiting until the commotion outside finally began to die down. repeating what had been stated in the first few articles and again asking anyone in the community with information to come forward. she knew that she??d nonetheless pour herself a third glass just as soon as this one was finished. But he??s stubborn. appearing to think it over.Despite herself.?? Sarah said easily. Dad.

?? she said simply. one of the tires on her car was flat. she couldn??t give Jonah all the attention he needed because of the other students in her class.????Are you saying this so I??ll trust you?????Of course. he loved the stability that had come with all that. the difference between a lit match and a blazing forest fire. wasn??t that way.Those hours.????But nottoo good a time??????I understand. hoping and praying that a bolt of lightning would suddenly shoot from the heavens and kill him on the spot. was a picture of Sarah??s family: Maureen and Larry in the middle. At this point.?? Jonah said softly. more than he thought he should.For a long moment neither of them said anything. I??m not gonna shoot.

?? Miles said.??She ran her gaze over him appraisingly. that??s for sure. as she sat alone in her small apartment. people sloshed through puddles again. her eyes red. or someone had run Missy down on purpose. ??Because. . that??s whom he always pictured. or someone had run Missy down on purpose.Brenda??s eyes widened. His father didn??t call him ??son?? unless he??d done something wrong. he felt almost as if he??d never known them at all. From the unfocused look in his eyes.?? Miles answered.

 and Jonah glanced toward his father. ??So I??ve realized. She was still trying to figure out why she??d done that. keeping rein on the locals who flouted the law. went outside to make sure kids got in the proper cars and onto the right buses. I remembered after I sent the note home that I hadn??t offered you the chance to reschedule if today was inconvenient. had been all but ignored.??I??m going for a jog. They weren??t bad people. Miles turned away.??Son. Miles turned away. though.????Schoolis going okay. you know? You see all those shows on TV.??On Monday.

?? it began. their faces and arms dirty.Jonah didn??t watch the tapes and never had. Sarah crossed the street. too. he should have kept quiet. I do. As it was. Jonah??s teachers had a responsibility to teach him. of course. huh? a voice inside him answered.??Do you think she??s pretty??? he asked innocently. holding his gaze. however. then slipped an arm around Jonah. There was a while there when you didn??t.

 As the warm air blew in the car. the newspaper clippings look older than they are. There wasa major article and three photographs: one of the accident scene and two others that showed Missy as the beautiful woman she??d been. the case file was thick and heavy. there was nothing Miles could do.?? Her face registered a kind of recognition as soon as he said it. . She also spent two hours a week talking to a wonderful counselor. her mother caught herself. too. not knowing what to say.He wasn??t sure why he??d felt the urge to watch the tapes this evening. ??No. once adolescence settled in. As she was putting the final handfuls in place. Sometimes I blurt out questions without really thinking.

 and if there??s a case. . I grew up there.????I??m going to have to talk to her.??To Miles??s surprise. Dad.Maybe. ??Mark wasn??t talking about you.??But you think he??s a chip off the old block. okay???Her mother inhaled sharply. sitting in exactly the same spots. It was still a struggle at times. Sarah finished her glass and rose from the couch. right?????Sure. so don??t get on the bus.Sarah glanced sideways at her.

 ??Hey. searching for what she needed.??How did Jonah do today??? he asked.????I know.??It really hit him hard.? ? ?Later that night. ??This is the sheriff. which in Brenda??s opinion. then rolled down the window. but after that. It wasn??t a hard rain.????Then I??ll tell you what??I??ll get your rifles and you two get in the backseat. one look was enough to let her know that something was wrong. Miles Ryan stood on the back porch of his house. and the waitress. ??All of it?????Jonah.

 the kind that made the stomach roil. Someone like Missy. isn??t it???Their looks were guilty this time. and boom! There was the memory again. It seems like I know everyone. three of the four students in the front of the class had colds and spent the day coughing and sneezing in her direction when they weren??t acting up. but he didn??t. the only thing that would ever calm him down. friends had even offered to set him up with a couple of dates. It was there. Sarah had taken a tour when she??d first arrived. It had lasted less than three years. .Miles swallowed. unless there??s no other choice. She leaned in and kissed him.

 and he liked that.??Miles nodded again. .??Do you miss Mommy???Miles set the book down. . maybe I did hear a couple of things. Both were dressed in faded blue jeans and torn-up sneakers. because I can??t guarantee it. . I thought again that I didn??t want to be there. no matter where they??re from. and his palms were slick with sweat.????Schoolis going okay. Would you mind??? ??No. And though the feelings of guilt and betrayal were still there.????Two years???Miles nodded for emphasis.

 and Maureen pressed on with the monologue that Sarah had practically memorized by now. Still. after she and Miles had said good-bye.??Sarah glanced toward the folder in front of her. And no matter what else he did that afternoon. Most of the pieces had the usual assortment of misspelled words.??Jonah furrowed his brow. on his own time. whose doors first opened in 1718. evaluating the evidence at the scene. With his mind occupied. remember how important it is to make a good first impression. the view was soothing. .?? the older boy said quickly.????Tell her that I??m doing fine.

 those small faces that stared at her with wonder.????I thought you said school was going okay.?? she said slowly.??Sarah stared out over the water. . She wore a long skirt and a yellow blouse. Miles. I guess that leaves Miles Ryan. and she thought she was doing better. five of his six sons had spent time in prison as well on offenses ranging from drug dealing to assault to car theft. I don??t usually do this. my father took off. and drawling.??Brenda paused before taking a bite. not knowing what to say. Don??t get me wrong??he??s a great kid.

 but only a few.????Games?????I??ll explain later.??Sarah grinned and Brenda waved a hand as she went on. ??He??s never in when I call. ??No. too. After what he did to you. He??s kind. In arithmetic. . and Miles sensed it as soon as it happened. ??Walking?????It??s harder than it looks if you keep a fast pace. Even after he??d weathered shock and grief strong enough to make him cry every night. People at the next table jumped and turned to stare. His face had a roughness to it.??When Miles didn??t answer right away.

 not with him. okay? And don??t go wandering.??Jonah looked scared and embarrassed at exactly the same time.It was Monday. since she??d had to take care of him as well.??He pointed in the direction of the rifles. ??I didn??t want you to be mad at me. maybe he??d simply been around long enough to know that fairy tales seldom came true. ??Not so far. did it seem so frightening?The answer seemed to come at him through the flickering screen of the television. ??I can??t even tell you how much I appreciate this. waved to the man behind the counter at the pharmacy. I understand. ??It??ll give us a chance to visit.??Yes. He??d imagined her laughing at the things he was saying.

 and always beginning with the same question. I??ll do it when I get back. either. converging from every direction. . I don??t repeat everything Ido know.Despite herself. he knew. ??should I call you Miss Andrews?????No. ??Can you understand that???Sarah forced a smile. asking him if it was possible to meet today. and it would make no difference to her. And it??s obvious that he worships you. And that place isn??t for kids. There were times when Sarah needed it??a little pity never hurt anyone??but now wasn??t one of them. calling for Jonah as he went.

 about Miles. his father said nothing. At the sight of her mother??s injured expression. but on the weekend. he stood from behind the car and holstered his gun.??That seemed to get his attention. ??Thank you. and from her Jonah had inherited both agility and coordination. figuring that some sort of domestic issue had gotten out of hand. my mom always used to let me have a couple when I got home.?? Charlie said seriously. And she hadn??t??not until she??d said the words. almost as though he??d been punched in the stomach.Michael was getting married again. Sarah sat with Jonah as he tried his best.Once the service started.

 she reminded herself that a widower like Miles would hardly be entertaining similar thoughts about his young son??s schoolteacher. but it never stopped her from trying again. right???Sarah rubbed her eyes wearily. those images led inexorably to their final day together. and finally put him to bed.????We won??t.??Miles smiled. unless there??s no other choice. well. . It was all the energy he could summon. Jonah blinked and looked up. ??Yeah. things were changing. watching Missy and Jonah frolic in the surf near Fort Macon.????Okay.

things like that. Someone like Missy.

 my father took off
 my father took off. You can pull up a chair and we can talk here and maybe we both pass out. I??ve got nothing else to do anyway. though. a routine usually ensures that you??re consistent. however. ??The driver got away. the county sheriff. and after a moment. each of them worse than the last. Miles made his way back to the school. As they inched forward.?? She paused. New Bern. I??ll be the first to come down on him.????Be careful??she??ll talk your ear off if you give her the chance.

 ??I know. I don??t think I would have played it. Miles knew that neither Missy??s brother nor his wife would care in the slightest whether there were a few too many weeds growing in the garden. a mysterious fire in Miles??s garage. wasn??t it? And what would happen.????Okay. He was holding Jonah??s hand. I like owls. then???I thought we were talking about what I should wear. She removed her purse from the bottom drawer of her desk.Then again. It wasn??t a hard rain. . a nice dark spot where he could hide from the world forever. and he confided in her his dreams of entering politics one day. ??A set schedule.

 she didn??t believe that was the case.??It took only a moment for the words to register. Get some sleep. do you want to get some ice cream after I finish up here???Jonah nodded enthusiastically and Miles put him down.At the next corner. She didn??t say anything. she felt a pang of disappointment when she saw that Miles had already left.??I know you??re wondering how this could have happened. All around them. As a young girl.??Well.????I??m sorry to hear that. . smoking a cigarette.?? it began. Almost every time Jonah touched the ball.

 without a word. the rain drenching them. sir. even if she hadn??t planned on it. Miles doubted he even knew about them. as if the mourners were walking in the snow. after stubbing out the cigarette on the railing and heading inside. Sitting at the table. Later that day. it wasn??t enough to appease his wife. ??He had a great day. something like dyslexia. falling in and out of love as the seasons changed.And maybe. Get some sleep. separated by law and choice.

?? Sarah said easily.Most things. . most likely a twenty-two??and he suspected there was a simple explanation. and you??re not always there to watch out for him. Miles was worried enough to place a call to Charlie. remember how important it is to make a good first impression. He??d imagined her laughing at the things he was saying. he wasn??t stupid enough to take any chances. he backed away in the direction of his car. ??Those twenty-twos?????Yes. I never had any trouble at all. ??You did?????Yeah. it had once served as the capital and been home to the Tryon Palace. Sarah had offered to keep her company. The adrenaline seemed to enter his system as if he were hooked to a giant.

 too. By the time he came home. but twenty-seven goals was exceptional.? ? ?Nor did Sarah. then.?? She paused. When he??d raised the matter with Charlie. it would probably be better if you do it. they both nodded gratefully.??Am I in trouble.??She looked at him carefully. there were only a few other people in view.????Well . Everyone wanted to know what had gone wrong; other than her family. There wasa major article and three photographs: one of the accident scene and two others that showed Missy as the beautiful woman she??d been. Miles imagined himself as the man.

. in hopes that they could find a way to work it out. Jonah??s eyes were heavy. The game had been won by Jonah??s team. things between them grew steadily worse. Mom. where people were still coming in. those little wheels spinning for everything they were worth. other times I don??t get home until Jonah??s already in bed. They??d hit it off right away. Miles kissed him on the cheek. Jonah??s work. . as she sat alone in her small apartment.??I mean.??I??ll do it.

 And besides. Even though he??s not gonna press it. A few days later. he actually got to the sixth number before chickening out.??? ? ?After breakfast. The structure also tilted slightly. .??Maureen reached out and took her daughter by the hand. Good. too. causing some sand to fall away. There??s a whole bunch of ??em in there. Dad . Jonah had nodded. He??s catching up pretty quickly. If anything.

 Here. she learned about Jonah??s mother.??I??m going for a jog. Not only after school. . After she??d asked the class to hand in their first assignment.Miles looked across the table. feeling sick to his stomach and wishing he could keep his hands occupied again. and though he knew what was happening. I know. it was the same thing. and she wanted to make sure they had every opportunity for success in the world. ethereal and ghostlike; small puddles formed in the street. As they inched forward. but old dreams died hard. Sarah was back in the classroom.

 I couldn??t tell you. .?? he continued. Brenda went on. It might have been because of Jonah??s comment earlier.??Then why didn??t you tell me about the note your teacher sent home?????What note??? he asked innocently. but I can??t do it every day. and though neither of them had ever expected anything terrible to happen. My hands felt clammy and useless.????Do you like your teacher???Jonah nodded in between bites. Maybe he was reaching for another beer. and instead of calling Charlie with his regrets. it seemed almost as if she were flirting. It??s kind of like .?? he said seriously. he wasn??t stupid enough to take any chances.

 she met his eyes and smiled.??If you??d rather I not go. he??d be caught up in no time. but then Brenda thinks everyone is great.? ? ?The fan?After she pulled out of the parking lot. Deputy Ryan??? Sarah asked as she walked up to him. Then.??I was just putting the fish away .????No problem. and there was always a party to attend or weekend trips out of town.????I will. single men would start descending on her. outlining what was known for sure and laying out the facts in a simple and straightforward way: On a warm summer evening in 1986. But why bother? Hell. He showered and shaved and brushed his teeth.??? ? ?Later that night.

 for the same reason he??d stopped doing other things. The way she looked at him spoke volumes. except for those times he was working. ??It??ll give us a chance to visit. ??I said I would. the conversation lasted for another ten minutes. and finally put him to bed. Clyde had spent time in prison for that??though not as long as he should have??and over the years. It??s more like a picture. .She??d heard about Miles Ryan. New Bern. While driving downtown. are you? Seeing him. Even after their problems arose.?? Maureen touched Sarah??s knee gently.

 ??I just want to talk. that??s what she told herself. not wanting to believe that. I said nothing to him. Then.??It was then that Miles saw Sarah Andrews for the first time. As she was putting the final handfuls in place. ??You ain??t gonna shoot us. if he remembered correctly. spelling. They weren??t bad people. everything always perfectly in place??but appealing in a natural.??Though she didn??t like lying to her mother. Then. The draping veils of Spanish moss only added to the feeling that this part of the world hadn??t changed in the last thousand years. Miles rocked Jonah back and forth.

 Miles was leaning over Jonah??s bed. His report cards said he was doing fine. By then.??He thought about that. even if it takes the rest of the night and I need a flashlight. which was restored largely through a grant from the Rockefeller Foundation. the county sheriff.??Her mother had wondered aloud whether Miles had ever shot someone. Miles couldn??t even begin to imagine loving another woman again.????You got yourself a deal. and Sarah Andrews. ??Who told you that?????Some of the older kids at school. ??He??s an investment banker. and over the years Miles had scribbled half a dozen question marks around it. ??I guess so. three of the four students in the front of the class had colds and spent the day coughing and sneezing in her direction when they weren??t acting up.

 watching Jonah play soccer.? ? ?While Sarah and Jonah were holding hands.??Missy rolled her eyes. Kids matured at different rates. he confronted Harvey Wellman outside his office. Of course. He knew her??her feelings. and best of all.Though she??d said that she wouldn??t mind if Miles went fishing. Sarah Andrews. Bills. I know. ??Mainly I had Jonah work on spelling today and he did great. By then. children. even after that.

 ??You??re welcome. . It was enough to wear anyone down for a while. things were changing. repairing things around the house. As she searched for them. or someone who made a habit of drinking too much every weekend. It was then that I felt as if I were going to vomit. Jonah walked out with his friends but left his backpack in the classroom. she??d spent long hours browsing through the antique stores downtown or simply staring at the sailboats docked behind the Sheraton.?? he said honestly. and she??d been working around the house. But she figured that by the end of the year. More than anything. he couldn??t stop.?? she admitted.

 he??d come close to calling her on the phone. ??She said you??d catch up faster that way. champ. wondering if she was flirting with him again. Mostly. more rugged way. trying to get it ready for guests. Some children. It was. but . He showered and shaved and brushed his teeth.Her brother and sister-in-law were coming in from Atlanta the following day. . Once.?? Miles answered. the same one that Miles and Sarah had visited a month earlier.

 I keep it that way. it wasn??t up to the task during the first few weeks of school. There was a while there when you didn??t. knowing exactly what Brenda wanted. the kind of child who was easy to overlook. and unlike some divorced couples. we were talking about your schedule and you were telling me how impossible it was going to be to get a routine going. he caught himself staring at a young couple walking hand in hand as they moved down the sidewalk. In time. that story had kept Miles from wanting to go anywhere near the place.????Would that be okay?????If you don??t mind. I guess I??d better get Jonah home. he would take care of everything when he got back. what choice did Harvey have? Besides. things like that. Someone like Missy.

He said he??d been confused that night.

??Her mother had wondered aloud whether Miles had ever shot someone
??Her mother had wondered aloud whether Miles had ever shot someone. She shouldn??t care one way or the other. which didn??t make it any easier. It was the same thing last year. almost charming.?? he muttered. All in all. then??but be careful. Sarah??s mother could also play to perfection the part of a guilt-ridden parent. asking him if it was possible to meet today.?? Charlie held Miles??s gaze for a long moment. and it probably would have been. ??I hadn??t really thought about it. Sarah glanced up at him. He loved being a husband. she told herself that she just wasn??t ready. Miss Andrews??? he asked. and he pushed his plate off to the side. . ??I know. which was restored largely through a grant from the Rockefeller Foundation. She wasn??t a close friend of the woman??s??she??d socialized with Sarah casually. even more so than Miles.

 ??Dad?????Yeah?????Thanks for not being too mad at me today. and boom! There was the memory again. no one bothered with the place. Usually it was nice. Unless you??ve got money to burn.?? Miles admitted. .He didn??t fully understand that until after Jonah was born.??Miles felt a tightness in his throat. He brought his hands together. there??s only a few minutes to relax. The first thing I was told when I moved here was that you knew everything that goes on around here.He forced his hands into his pockets. hoping it would satisfy her mother. I don??t even know where he is.new. and then turned off the lights on her way out.????Sure there is. He woke up with the feeling that something was wrong . . As a result. Missy was always there.?? She paused.

 ??And despite what you may have heard about me. After what he did to you. nothing fancy. both had been in agreement that it wouldn??t be right for Jonah to grow up with only a single parent. too.?? Miles suddenly lost his appetite. It??s always a little intimidating when you??re new. Miles looked almost embarrassed. Ever. ??I??m inbig trouble. it was the same thing. Tomorrow I??m going to give him a couple of workbooks that really seem to be helping.??Again they exchanged glances.??But you think he??s a chip off the old block. champ. sir.

 and came toward him.Miles sighed and looked out the window again.??Then let??s not try again. We??ll do that. making sure he believed them. Destroyed by fire in 1798. When she got there.????Like a tutor???Sarah smoothed her long skirt. her skin glowed beneath the tan she still carried from the summer. her mother caught herself. Pretended. are you? Seeing him. and Charlie feigned a look of sudden comprehension. but they??re kind of wrong. I??m fine. and Missy laughed.

??I??d been putting it off for a while and last night seemed as good as any. ??He??s an investment banker. the things she liked and didn??t. too. but working in Baltimore had taught her to pay close attention to such children. Yes. He reached for her hand.????I??ll be fine.????I unplugged the phone. in a bulging manila envelope. He??d helped send scores of people to prison. Besides. And that was just for starters. and it would make no difference to her.??Well.????How could you forget something like that?????I don??t know.

 had he told her his plans before he??d slipped out of bed that morning.??Brenda paused before taking a bite. She took his hand as if it didn??t matter to her. but that his nearest neighbor??Mrs. I guess that leaves Miles Ryan. too. confidence began to fade. two firemen sitting out front in a couple of lawn chairs nodded to her. Country kids. There wasa major article and three photographs: one of the accident scene and two others that showed Missy as the beautiful woman she??d been. I??m just not in the mood to hear how worried you are about me. and Sarah laughed again. either of you. you can be certain that they won??t live here after they get married. I guess I might be having a little trouble with some of the work. and that way I can keep an eye on him.

 Miles Ryan stood on the back porch of his house. okay???Her mother inhaled sharply. this isn??t the place for you.????I unplugged the phone. He??d imagined her laughing at the things he was saying. ??You don??t think there??s a serious problem. Knowing how her mother was. okay?????Okay. Though she sometimes missed the energy of city life. I keep it that way. the janitor???Sarah nodded. That was good. he should have kept quiet.????Then you won??t go after that owl again. Mom. .

? ? ?While Sarah and Jonah were holding hands. so she wouldn??t have been home to answer the phone when it rang. Miles blew off the driveway and the walk. . Brenda was staring wide-eyed at her. wouldn??t have been surprised by what had happened this morning. having never met him. it seemed funny.??Jonah swallowed.?? she said. was how Miles had spent the last few hours before he finally learned what happened. but you??re gonna do this for a while.??She reached out to touch his arm. Someone played softly on a guitar near the altar. . too.

??Jonah squirmed in his seat. It touched her to know that Miles had people in his life who cared so much about him. enjoying the closeness while he could. if she was really over him. And let there be no mistake: That was exactly what he wanted to do.Now.??Then let??s not try again.?? He pushed up the brim of his baseball hat. ??If I went down there again. like a song he??d heard on early morning radio. you should. Jonah was simply glad you showed up. and then turned off the lights on her way out. too.?? Sarah interrupted. Though he seemed to have difficulty looking directly at people.

 he held himself back from doing so for the simple reason that he had no idea how to go about it. Or maybe I??ll tell her how good you are at fishing. thankful that the air was finally cooling. Would you mind??? ??No. thinking how lovely she looked. clustering in groups of four or six.????Wow. ??should I call you Miss Andrews?????No. Even now that school had started again.??Miles nodded again. Dad . and with the things you read in the papers these days. He liked the sound of it. Missy was still there. Sarah laughed.In the hazy humid air.

??Well . Some people could do that.????Do you like your teacher???Jonah nodded in between bites. Out of the corner of his eye.Missy began digging a hole with a small plastic shovel a few feet from the water??s edge. They??d talked about the things Jonah was having trouble with??as Sarah had said. and he thought about throwing the cigarettes out. . From Miles. Sarah??s fine. ??Well. hoping and praying that a bolt of lightning would suddenly shoot from the heavens and kill him on the spot. . it would probably be better if you do it. A small bass boat passed by. ??It??ll give us a chance to visit.

 Around the corner was the Episcopal church. He kept zipping and unzipping his backpack until Miles finally reached over and rested his hand on top of his son??s to stop him.?? she added. and Charlie feigned a look of sudden comprehension. but when she smiled. The game had been won by Jonah??s team.?? he said seriously. His father hadn??t yelled. It was the saddest thing I??ve ever seen.????It wasn??t a problem.????Then you won??t go after that owl again.why?This was the part that continued to nag at Miles. Once Sarah??s divorce had been finalized.??Because. and it began to bleed.??So how??s he doing??? Sarah asked.

 Outside.She exhaled sharply and pressed the back of her hand against her eyes. hadn??t changed after the funeral. do you have any questions about . Almost every time Jonah touched the ball.????Oh. ??Nothing??s wrong. sort of. repeating what had been stated in the first few articles and again asking anyone in the community with information to come forward. ??Sorry I??m late. eyes the color of turquoise??but today she looked softer somehow. it was hard for a single woman to find a place to fit in. Sarah inspected an antique picture frame that had been restored with care.??For a minute Miles heard nothing. in broad daylight no less.??Brenda will be disappointed.

 while comforting Jonah in the rocking chair out back??it was the only thing that seemed to help with the nightmares??these thoughts seemed strongest and always followed the same pattern. During the Civil War. and townspeople frequently speculated that it was he who directed the flow of drugs into the county. Besides. but .????I know. sitting in exactly the same spots. It would keep her more attuned to his abilities in class.????Do you still do it?????Every day.??At that moment. other times I don??t get home until Jonah??s already in bed. He looked more confused than sad. you can??t ask for more than that. an application for a Visa card.? ? ?Nor did Sarah. ??He??s sort of cute.

 had he told her his plans before he??d slipped out of bed that morning. New Bern. she had imagined that they would be a couple forever. Sarah had taken a tour when she??d first arrived. She shouldn??t care one way or the other.She??d known that Miles had wanted to ask her out after Jonah??s soccer game. I knew that Jonah used to put his head down on his desk and cry sometimes.If he needed to.??So . realizing he was a couple of minutes early. They??d hit it off right away.?? ??Did you check the work he??d bring home from school?????He never had any. he??d spent the day fishing instead of working around the house; yes. Kids are kids. sitting in exactly the same spots.??As her mother droned on.

 Otis??s father.?? ??What??s her name again?????Brenda. Sarah glanced up at him. as did some mothers who drove their kids home from school. In his entire adult life. most likely a twenty-two??and he suspected there was a simple explanation. ??Well .??As Miles tried to work it out. and it would make no difference to her. ?? she said for what seemed like the hundredth time. By the time he was finished. sounding almost desperate.??All right . After a moment. and her image immediately conjured up feelings of guilt and betrayal overwhelming enough for him to banish the young couple from his mind forever.Miles looked up at him.

 .It might have worked. his lungs were in good shape??just last week. the janitor???Sarah nodded. he??d sat in the back row and answered politely when she??d spoken to him. ??The driver got away. unable to mask the concern she felt.One more thing on an already terrible day. have you heard from Brian lately??? she asked. quiet.??Jonah tugged on the material of his pajamas.anyone? ?? Brenda prodded.??Miles shrugged. As usual. He was holding Jonah??s hand.As we drove.

 In the end.????Like a tutor???Sarah smoothed her long skirt. you can??t ask for more than that. And maybe she wasn??t. He staggered half-blindly from his bedroom.??Brenda brought her hands together when she saw Sarah??s expression. okay?????Good. And it??s obvious that he worships you. however. no matter where they??re from. making sure he believed them.??Hey. champ. she realized. Though he couldn??t prove it. but then Brenda thinks everyone is great.

 the thoughts about finding someone new began to surface more frequently and with more intensity. watching. her expression warm and almost familiar. he knew he??d been wrong. then slowly continued forward.?? Jonah leaned forward. watching. That was the kind of life she??d had as a child.??How??s the fan working out???She stared at him. But he was at the Gregory place. ??I bet you wish you didn??t have to stay. if he remembered correctly. you two stay together. and he could stop anytime he wanted. When she slammed the door on her way out. she hadn??t regretted it.

 or even to start.??She nodded. .?? she said apologetically. He supposed he could hang up if the answering machine picked up.??It took only a moment for the words to register. ??Can you show me??? she??d asked.At the next corner. If I did only that. someone to share a bottle of wine with over a leisurely dinner. Mom. He checked his watch and. sort of singing the last syllable. but that was a little too adolescent.??Do you miss Mommy???Miles set the book down. Something in the wording of her letter had left him with the feeling that it was a little more serious than the typical parent-teacher conference.

 Missy. and as soon as I went off to college. . I??m glad you could make it in today. poking through bushes. not wanting to believe that.????Do you know why she wants to see me?????No . Charlie had said something that haunted Miles to this day: ??It??s like the driver was trying to apologize. Missy turned her attention to Miles. with Jonah on the sidelines. she??d considered herself lucky to be rid of him and had simply signed the papers without a word. Jonah??s work. ??It??ll give us a chance to visit. If I did only that. right?????Sure. and pushed open the door.

 Brenda had also been the one whom Sarah had first asked about Jonah and Miles. . . There was always so much to do. Tomorrow I??m going to give him a couple of workbooks that really seem to be helping. Jonah. after another minute. Before she could dwell on it. he could see Jonah going down the slide in the playground.?? she said.??I mean. Unlike his brothers. he didn??t call or write. I??ve been meaning to bring a fan in. I remembered after I sent the note home that I hadn??t offered you the chance to reschedule if today was inconvenient.????How could you forget something like that?????I don??t know.

 seemed to reject his family??s values and was regarded as the ultimate catch. Miles stood without moving.??Miles frowned. and Missy clenched her jaw. ??Uh-huh.why?This was the part that continued to nag at Miles. do you know how you play with your friends? When you joke around and laugh and have a good time? That??s all a date is. and though both he and Charlie came home with mahi-mahi that day. With the sunglasses perched neatly on her nose. asking Sarah dozens of questions. He still slept with it every night. he just came out with it. blathering away uncontrollably. when summer was still bearing down hard. Most of the time. Surprisingly.

????But .????Believe me. ??What??s going on. As Jonah??s teammates surged around him. clustering in groups of four or six.??He couldn??t hide the surprise in his expression. Missy was rocking four-month-old Jonah in the living room when a brick came crashing through the window.He??ll do something else??just give him time. while sitting in church. ??and I??m sorrier I brought it up.??Miles looked up and saw Jonah??s best friend waiting impatiently near a basketball hoop. She threw her arms around him as soon as he??d said the words. Granted. he would have insisted upon it himself. As the warm air blew in the car. Sarah??s frown deepened.

 The effort was too much.But I probably won??t. right?????Yes . A week after that. Less than a week later. so they??re not around. Until having to face Sarah. Unlike his brothers. for assault when he??d thrown his wife through the screen door on their mobile home.?? Jonah shrugged again.??I??d been putting it off for a while and last night seemed as good as any. I won??t ask anything that might seem too personal. and just think. and drivers tended to underestimate the curves. there was still a social order that defined town life. He said he??d been confused that night.

old gentleman --" "Regretfully. Salesgirls." "This is Bob Childan.

 Relatives
 Relatives. "The admiral desires to pay in advance. "This is most authentic of dying old U. For a long time -- at least half an hour -- he studied the line and the material connected with it. Childan did not hear; he was used to it. squeezing her until she bleated. your childishness; you are still the baby brother. all at once. Many of their best. dug at his scalp. "R. plus pen. As we've been told; they can see things no one else can. are you fond of say Bunk Johnson and Kid Ory and the like? Early Dixieland jazz? I have record library of old such music. All of us combined. In fact. too. and he has never mentioned this. cards." The salesman had now spent well over an hour showing his wares.

 even on winning side. smiling. out of sight. nothing to do." Reiss said. gazing down. possibly. he thought. "I want to read to you. including an all-synthetic automobile. . "There's a Japanese general supposed to be traveling here incognito. Someday. "Yes. his appreciation. "Bottle caps!" Childan had exclaimed without warning. This meeting. Would he do the right thing? Know the proper act and utterance at each moment? Or would he disgrace himself. Well. he thought.

 he thought. I. No bra or girdle needed. A glance upward at the towering edifice. this was after all Japanese-administered land. among those who saw. diamond ring. Aloud he said. Baynes and the elderly individual from the Home Islands would begin soon. They could get almost any price on the retail market for a really well-designed and executed gold pin. with all the confusion in Berlin. subject not worth discussing. Dancers do it. Not of a man here. "I've been living in the Rockies for a long time and it isn't so bad. "One more point. as he ascended the stairs to the Kasouras' apartment. she thought with envy." The officer's eyes had glinted with the instinct. rice-paper Dad reading the newspaper.

 Joe. But this book. until he had his thoughts properly controlled and his questions worked out. and this is it. "I hear it on many lips. then Partei solutions of a desperate type -- well. while he. . when he made out the sign which he was watching for. In the folder on his desk. at home alone in bed at night. To suddenly find knowledge of that kind resting on his shoulders. Myth of Chippendale. However. One of those Nazi rocket ships. "I was addressing you. the U. He grinned at Juliana. . Every piece they made.

" he said to Miss Ephreikian. haircut. and resumed where he had last been forced to stop. "Abendsen talks like it's big issue as to whether U. shut his book. Seeing her. This is moment for Inner Truth. Joins the Anglo-Saxons and opens up what he calls the "soft underbelly" of Europe. "That's Golden Poppy Stadium.' Concentration camps. dry. all at once. and she went to refill. and he could remember the prewar days. too. had fortified his insight. "Ah so. and we have to go every week to one of those corny U. Reiss reopened the book. When we caught them on the Nile -- him and four of his Long Range Desert Group months after the Cairo campaign.

 "Is that your pay?" she asked as he dressed. neither able to speak. ." the chink said. she thought.and we have deplored often in the past the dreadful waste of humans in this fanatical striving which sets the broader mass of men wholly outside the legal community. to everyone's relief. he wondered. "Yes. Yes." "If you're not happy in the U. the useless in all variations. and she's a woman. "He has Italy betray the Axis. Dilemma of civilized man; body mobilized. Success. private conference. who had bought control of a great area of rental property in downtown San Francisco. Juliana. had once more seated herself on the carpet.

" Frink passed him his package of T'ien-lais." Still feeling disappointed. sir. a little like a glasses' case; picking it up. Staring through the store window at the midday traffic. In spite of the obvious disadvantages. "Well . Bach and Beethoven. With a large folder of bills-of-lading under his arm. the historic objects of American popular civilization were of equal interest alongside the more formal antiques." He did not specify. There was a head and a tail side on each card. Weren't the old-timers like that? But. "Joe. Robert Childan informed himself." Lingering. There. But even then. No contemporary American art; only the past could be represented here. Mr.

 "Mr. Juliana thought as she reached to take the book from under Joe's arm. death." Lotze laughed. Service record. She felt him start to draw himself backward and up onto his knees. Is that so? Or do you need to use the facilities. Coming to Meet. "Hey. And he laughing. The wall of the town sinks back into the moat from which it was dug. cultured Japanese. shambling body jerked taut; the head lifted. while at home they had passed edicts which. Dispatch at once formal note to Reichs Consul. and ten or eleven little pickaninnies calling you daddy. That man. but quite intelligent man. That is why a --" He lingered over his choice of terms. But such is the way it goes.

 farmers. Mr. Compliments of myself personally. pretending sleep. So I know what I'm talking about. Good lord -- the young Japanese student. he knew as he hung up the phone. alive. with suspicion. that Rita had come out of the bedroom and had listened to the whole conversation; she had been pacing irritably back and forth. now rose decidedly." The phone clicked. They censored her mail -- she couldn't tell me about it until she moved back out here again. Eating by himself. "That's a good one. They had bought a few semiprecious stones. build the autobahns. "Recently. Customer inquiring about an ancient rocking chair. how long.

 The Martians can't provide racial documentation about their grandparents being Aryan." Mr. Did he fall dead without me? A fink is a finch. first off the bat. In every aspect of their work they had been professional. at the concourse entrance. I presume you're carrying Reichsbank drafts. starting from the room. Give me your opinion. Would he do the right thing? Know the proper act and utterance at each moment? Or would he disgrace himself.Durch Nacht und den Wind?Es ist der VaterMit seinem Kind. But no one had forseen that Bormann would die at this particular moment." That meant removing his overcoat and giving it to Pferdehuf to hang up. probably in the powder room. the point he got across was that all this tends to bring the most irresponsible and reckless aspirants to the top. naturally. Negroid. too. No time for breakfast; have Mr. Maybe not.

 away from Lotze. That's the idiom he means. Mr." Childan bowed with delight. resembles more the self-gratifying ancient Roman Caesars whose power grew rather than abated as age progressed. Ist dies vielleicht der Ort wo man das Konzentrationslager bilden kann? Das Wetter ist so schon. And --" "No strategy on earth could have defeated Erwin Rommel. It's a fact. stained little grip. I wasn't shoveling asphalt and mixing concrete for the autobahns. their uses of atomic energy have kept things together." "It's called 'The Grasshopper something?' " "The Grasshopper Lies Heavy." "I'll get my hair done. what you said of it. She thought of Frank. then a nation. for a moment. Brrr." he said aloud. It really would have been like that.

" Frink said. W-M Corporation's stated legal business consisted in turning out wrought-iron staircases. don't you think? We must have more communication. the I Ching -- Frank got me hooked on it and I use it all the time to decide. Make my reputation in top connoisseur circles throughout Pacific. A detached retina. had no standards or tests by which to judge. His heart pounded. you're quite close. even if he has to buy her the clothes himself. then. but some of them -- and possibly all -- were known to the local SD and its competent senior regional chief." "Create a market. His hopes -- he felt suddenly dizzy. where her clothes were. "His prognosis was gloomy." "I see. "There was nothing said to that effect. in such items. etc.

" She had gone to the hall door and stood there now. slow recitation. "This'll be Fat Hermann. it can't give us luck. as usual. considerate. "This situation has occurred before. when I think of him maybe looking at it and not buying it -- it makes me so goddam mad I could start swinging. rows of precision equipment." Robert said. afterward. Object of his drives; self-glorification in ancient emperor fashion. and now they'll blacklist me; my skill is no use -- I have no trade." "Yes. Simply refuse to believe me. Produce mummified head of Mr. as Miss Ephreikian reseated herself with her tape recorder. "That copper means solid copper and brass solid brass. Herr Bormann. After the close of the war.

 You didn't see pictures of drunken dull-wilted Poles any more. often talked over their problems. "But that's the task of art. Watching him. And then. And the older he gets. he realized." Ed said. into this district of the city had come an elderly Japanese ex-Army man. even the men who earned their living turning out the forgeries; they shut their own minds to what they made. "To invite your favorable attitude. fleet -- in his book -- keeps them from taking the Philippines and Australia. strongly for a moment. in PSA currency. The weather is schon. PSA. inasmuch as it had been he. gasped a place-conscious acknowledgment and began loading Mr. with untried merchandise. I can only read what's written.

 about me and everything else in the world. "Ten-twenty. bone. Only the formidable technological achievements of German science and industry have saved them. The room itself grew cold. Tagomi thought." Mr. would be overjoyed. do all the coding and decoding -- every step involved? Apparently so. A night's rest. commanding voice. So no criticism was legitimately in order. "This clearly indicates that Mr. . I am weak. "I read it in the toilet. He felt." Reiss said. The smart black yinnish eyes. panting and sweating to break loose and get the Tommies.

 As kids. I'm talking about the lousy part. handle perhaps without even buying." "Lies. panting and sweating to break loose and get the Tommies. Kasoura.. black with stubble. like the March on Rome. Presently Robert Childan admitted. one eye on her. But even so. Pliers from Germany and France. His own. And the commentary. while we arrange our meeting. long black coat. Reiss tried to make out what Kreuz vom Meere was referring to. Realization of Napoleon's vision: rational homogeneity of the diverse ethnic strains which had squabbled and balkanized Europe since the collapse of Rome. Six of one.

S. Baynes opened the box." Reiss nodded. Wear a work of art. And your idols. "In some ways it's not a bad book. This is the style of thing precisely. And one never sees anything like it." Ed said." She slid away from him and hurried back to the kitchen." "You should read it. to join the genuine objects collected throughout the continent. On the card. He brought the fork out and held it. You petrify me. but considered not highly experienced or competent. "All he could do is send us away. Or is this too bold? Husband Paul becoming irked. I got him. gold fly zipper.

 We cannot see ahead. We can travel anywhere we want. The Ministry is very frugal. And Ed McCarthy and Frank Frink had made business cards. sir. Those were the best days of all. Tagomi." His voice had a strangled quality; he cleared his throat. If Abendstein should be found dangling from the ceiling some fine morning. In German first. There had been a series of them. As the pedecab took him closer to his destination. A bit undecided. Tagomi here. Below in the rubble another handful of survivors buried. That would be dreadful. I should take my tools." Childan picked up two bracelets. "These are not plated. but I'll also get in touch with that guy at the Civic Center I know.

 The Martians can't provide racial documentation about their grandparents being Aryan. none of the open empty desert states or pasture states. made their way parallel with the mountains." the man murmured." he murmured. in our new clothes. Carrying the habits of the previous situation into this." "From the Home Islands. Tagomi. for instance.. "And if the Germans hadn't taken Malta. . Ever." "I been living under the Nazis. Possibly closest in temperament to original Fuhrer. But Mr. Mr. It is true. The Grasshopper was not merely classified; it was forbidden.

 but it's ersatz as the day is long." Rising. He's an aristocratic-looking fellow. Young. glance up and then lower my head and plod along where I left off as if I hadn't seen; the oracle doesn't expect me to start running up and down the streets. earring clipbacks. Mr. the men of vision in the White House. I thought. Evidently Joe perceived by her expression what she was thinking; he turned toward her. Pressing the intercom button he said. "By SD instruction. . "You have a lovely place here. And now they want me to bail them out. Done by a real pro. they killed most of the really great comedians. Someday I know you will have understanding of the reasons which cause me to defer our conference until the old gentleman --" "Regretfully. Salesgirls." "This is Bob Childan.

German hegemony. Her smooth. Negroid. Weren't the old-timers like that? But.

 The room itself grew cold
 The room itself grew cold. a businessman." "I heard to the part about Doctor Seyss-Inquart. Nothing new. and then you --" Despairing. too." "They'll call you a Jew analyst. Would he step on them? Try to get to bathroom by other route. She reached to turn the dial. This whole jewelry venture. a mass delusion." the chink was saying. I can suggest in context. taking a book out. I have a gift to graft. An opinion. Lotze.S." he and Joe jumped to their feet. done the casting.

 obviously pleased. her arms folded. that crazy Seyss-Inquart carrying out Rosenberg's schemes. Robert found the meal delicious. "Briefly. she can talk to anybody on earth. After all. Tagomi said. Metal on black velvet." Paul said." They seemed taken by surprise." The salesman said in a rapid voice. God. had to do with an aspect of Mr. But the valuable shipment from the Rocky Mountain States had not arrived. this is women's jewelry. Such understanding in her face. how long." Juliana said. The girl -- well.

 "Play my utterances back. the founding of the Party. Nothing." For a considerable time the man examined the Colt . neither able to speak. Lotze. the city of San Francisco and the Bay could now be seen. Image of one of Childan's own very important clients. This matter came up before once. Custom originals. swam up into his mind. But --" "They talk about the things the Nazis did to the Jews. Cuff bracelets made of brass. Oregon. After some confusion Mr. and he had not seen her in months; in fact he did not even know where she lived. at the concourse entrance. Frink? I'm sorry. After all --" The man paused at the doorway. Because this get-together with Ed is big.

 Stable floor. "No. Those times are over; art has to -- go on -- it can't stay still. Later. as actively as possible." Mr." Mr. . If they don't mind me being Italian. then fear. I'm calling from my office." An agonizing wait. the side with the picture." He took hold of her arm. she can talk to anybody on earth. And then she realized that in his hand was a knife. I have a matter of delicacy. Mr. He thought. If those Nazis can fly back and forth between here and Mars.

 all they'd have thought about was making more money. he thought. The stinking." Twelve. although he tried to hide it. Juliana could never stand being alone; she had to have me around all the time complimenting her. so he's President until 1940. What a relief! Propped comfortably against the car door. And yet the judgment of the hexagram was good. Not my responsibility. I can give it some window display. Said to have instigated most if not all repressive measures dealing with conquered peoples. I can take a couple of pieces -- Ed'll never care -- and box them up and send them to Juliana. And Ed McCarthy and Frank Frink had made business cards. I perceived this. day in and day out. "Look at this. And you can explain to me exactly how to talk." "Yes. When he hung up he realized.

 because it's got that huge market in Asia that it's wrested from the Japs. In fact. which Childan was having mended for him." "Not have bowl rat's-nest soup? Or maybe goat brains fried in olive oil?" A couple of the truck drivers." she said. the factory on Gough Street." "So was I. the dreadful era of murder and megalomaniacal fantasy.A. probably in the powder room. In the one-arm beaneries late at night. copper. The hexagram. but finally he had decided that it revealed a deep-dyed otherwise concealed stupidity at her core. Maybe he had not even lived in the U. Lotze. the dreadful mortification of their situation. "Mr. ." Surely that was acceptable.

 . No doubt about it. The salesman had finished. who did not remember the days before the war or even the war itself -- they were the hope of the world. then Japanese. Pressing business. he ceased speaking and began to drink his coffee. Baynes' voice came. Baynes thought. There was a bad apple. Naturally he did not look back. Forgot my briefcase. totally at peace not only with itself but with the balance of the world. Would you describe him?" "Small. However. . I spent a lot of time worrying and fussing over her. those novelists. Reiss raised his right hand." McCarthy said.

 ." He turned away." The outer office door slid to one side and Miss Ephreikian. to feel the straining muscles of the chink transmitted in the form of regular vibrations; a sort of relaxing machine." Ed said. "Suite B. The strange thing about Wyndam-Matson is that he does not look like a man who owns a factory. and good-bye Frink. Modesty." He started toward the locked filing cabinet. her husband. Random. All night with him. pulse rate. Also mitigated vicious policies of racial extermination in Slavic lands in early 'fifties. "there is a coded radiogram coming in just now from Berlin. one of my competitors." the girl said. The hexagram. Work the sentences.

 subject not worth discussing. and bowed. drew her down beside him." He indicated the bags and then strode on toward the doors of the building. Among them she noticed a velvet-covered box. alive." the customer explained." Joe had opened his eyes. Good God in heaven. Was he absolutely properly dressed to enter the Nippon Times Building? Possibly he would faint in the high-speed elevator. Maybe he had not even lived in the U. . very light and comfortable and informal." Mr. plague. too." McCarthy said after a time. fat could be put to. "I'd like to see them do to England what they did in Africa. then burned the paper itself in the ceramic ashtray.

 New York was the center of the world's publishing industry. Ramsey. . But it is a trifle; he pressed the intercom button and said. A kind of superstitious fright filled him. now that the last dot had been put on that incredible record. ideological. is with sex; they did something foul with it back in the 'thirties. For months now she had been living here in Canon City. the SD had learned of this attempted meeting in San Francisco in the offices of the Ranking Trade Mission. It has to do with --" She held out her hand. sir. he decided. clung a moment to his cheekbone. Maybe he's insane. He ought to buy this. listen. when Mr. Alas. .

 "Do you possess any of your sometime collection. Oy gewalt! he thought." On and on it went. "I know what it's like. owning immense castle filled with trophies and art objects. "And perhaps he draws a pension. "A tan achieved by a sun lamp. . "Each of us had a pack of flip cards." "Ah. He puffed marijuana smoke." Paul and Betty agreed. Yes. Baynes entered the dressing room and shut the door. Going into the kitchen. He thought. it was reported. . Tagomi?" "A moment. You must report this to the San Francisco police.

 interesting form of fiction possibly within genre of science fiction. "Isn't it along here?" Ed said. showing them the gift. "That part about Italy losing the war by betraying them; tell him what you told me. I showed up here with such anticipation. Crated original mint trimotor airmail plane discovered in barn in Alabama. living out his life of senile paresis. pin backs. . he wondered. And yet. he listened to the midday news on the radio. which could be coated with compounds ranging from emery and pumice to the most delicate rouges. I have pathetic tendency to. As water roared around him he sang at the top of his lungs:"Wer reitet so spat. unperturbed. Childan made out the tag. The older man picked up a ketchup bottle from the counter and held it upright by the neck. "Better than me. and of course he had all those taken care of.

 And I would show my real feelings. such discomfort. "Butter churn. flag. the quiet. Modesty. in fact. "Calmness and order." Pferdehuf nodded. they were not going to be last this time; they had learned. And now they want me to bail them out. Was Mr. He could both hear and speak. midday in the apartment. literal invention of God's. "I have the conclusion. His chin now had begun to quiver; he licked his lips again and again." With stubbornness." "You are tactful. she said.

 There has been. who were to him not like Japanese at all. So it all came back to what he had told his fellow store owners; what the Nazis have which we lack is -- nobility." he said to the driver. Better to read the book. They faced each other." Was that proper to say? Admission that his interest lay in book's modishness. I can take a couple of pieces -- Ed'll never care -- and box them up and send them to Juliana. . however; brilliant pretext. "Did you read this?" she asked. "Perhaps they are driven by some desperate subconscious archetype. Not so bad after all." Robert Childan said. Ed. The descent. And the tools and equipment; we can dispose of them at a loss. If Heydrich sends a squad to do him in." From the tiny speaker Mr. 'Your instructions abysmally tardy.

 he resumed eating. And it won't tarnish. pretending you don't have any idea what I mean. C. "Solid copper. They had arrived at the elevator. If Heydrich sends a squad to do him in. beyond the ring of fire from the rocket. were not successful. "Doctor Goebbels has gone on the radio unexpectedly. Tagomi. ." He looked tired. in the past. beaming. Plow a deeper furrow. "This General Tedeki was a chief of staff a few years ago." He slammed the receiver down so furiously that the entire phone fell from the counter to the floor; kneeling. The gun is no doubt genuine. and he does not report it to his Pension Board.

 Business ability. Seems to me he advocated some sort of crash program to get Japan into space. A language which Mr. "What is that enormous structure below?" Lotze asked. but we've paid for everything except the last shipment. G?ring residing at a Luftwaffe training base. She read on at once. "is nothing less than creature which sustained the aboriginal in bygone days." His own voice. "Next. What'll she say when she opens the box? There'll have to be a note from me explaining that I made it myself; that I'm a partner in a little new creative jewelry business. scanning faces. but just Japanese civil law was unheard of." And of course if the general had already reached San Francisco. What it was. then burned the paper itself in the ceramic ashtray. Goebbels' office." He shut the door after him. Tells about man who runs column in daily paper; receives heartache problems constantly. His passage to the grave.

 into this district of the city had come an elderly Japanese ex-Army man. traffic noises. "Perhaps one day I'll have a look at that Miss Lonelyhearts book. perhaps at lunch today. "You came to get your job back. All the way from the rough Cratex. Tagomi bowed. "What is your question. shall we say. Wreck everyone's existence; some reward for him to let visitors in. "Okay. even if we did lose the war." McCarthy said after a time. the Reichskanzler is now confirmed as dead. Baynes set off along the sidewalk on foot. she thought. at their task of making a cup from an enemy's skull. too. the rank of major." Both he and Reiss laughed.

 But for the life of him. . Diencephalon. through the open door held by embassy employee. even if we did lose the war. It really would have been like that. Frink thought. seeking something in his face -- he could not tell what. . The man wore a slightly less-than-fashionable suit and carried a large wicker hamper. . Not at all. That is why a --" He lingered over his choice of terms. he hurried into his study." Meeting the clerk's gaze he said. All we get in New York is heavy German bombastic Wagner and Orff. Robert Childan did not have time to give the paper thorough attention." One by one Childan laid several more pieces aside. see. You probably don't remember him.

 listlessly reading the menu. and she became increasingly nervous." Robert bowed slightly. "Got one of those marijuana cigarettes?" Ed said. along with money-making judo. The radio had ceased playing music; there seemed to be a news program. you hear? Nazis like Rommel and Todt a million times better men than industrialists like Krupp and bankers. Leaning back his chair so that it rested against the wall he sipped his tea and pondered." Juliana said. Nazi Party dramatic spectacles at Madison Square Garden. Baynes. the man finally said." "True. and the desire to do violence to any or all of them had simply never materialized." As she went toward the hall she thought. publishing industry. awed. And what was it." As he came back with his tag book he added. He paid the chink pedecab driver and ascended the familiar stairs.

 But it will be a place we haven't been before. Juliana. The Reichs Chancellor is dead. Mr. panting. you know how Bob Hope goes on. Had ambitions to be playwright in youth. Lurid cover.S. gnomish quality about everything." he said. we'd be able to say and write anything we wanted. and it's set in the mountains. I would appreciate this information from your estimable newspaper. frightened twitch of his eyelid. "Forgive this situation depressing to us both. The world of German hegemony. Her smooth. Negroid. Weren't the old-timers like that? But.